Our Family Tree

The boys are working on a family tree at school, so I thought it would be fitting to post a few photos of our extended family in my blog.  Even though this tree is incomplete (a lot of family members have not met Austin and Bassem yet), it’s a starting point!  Our family tree will eventually include pictures of the boys with their respective aunts, uncles, grandpas, nanas, and so on.  It may take some time to get this tree complete- seeing that we’ve got family living all over the place (and in two different countries).

The starting point- our most recent family photo taken in November 2010.  Austin and Bassem are 2.5.

Aunty Leah (my sister) and Uncle Christopher are the best thing since sliced bread, as far as the boys are concerned.  They can't get enough of them- every visit with Aunty & Uncle is guaranteed to be a rockin' good time!

The boys love playing with Nana Cook (my Mom), especially when there is cuddling involved!

The boys did not get a chance to get to know Grandpa Cook (my Dad) past their infancy (he passed away from cancer when they turned 9 months old).  But Dad sure did love napping with them and snapping their pictures whenever he visited us.

As the boys get older and long distance travel becomes easier, we will be able to introduce the boys to the Morinville Canucks!  To date, Uncle Albert (1 of Larry's 3 brothers) has been the only one to venture to the US.  Albert is Bassem's Godfather.  This photo was take at Bassem's baptism in Jan 2009 (Lisa Fedy is Bassem's Godmother).  Once we are living in Boise again we hope to entice more of Larry's family to visit us.  Or maybe we'll just head up north to see the sights ourselves….during the summer months, of course!

To be continued…

If Looks Could Kill!

One of the tell tale signs of being close to your tipping point is giving your spouse the look.  Without uttering a word, when you give the look you're effectively saying, “How did I get myself into this mess ?!#!  And, by the way, this is YOUR fault!”  It’s a terrible feeling when you have no reasonable means by which to vent your frustration.  Often it is this look of total defeat that says it all.  Parenting is stressful business- there’s no arguing that.

The look is commonly exchanged at our house, especially on week nights.  The boys are usually running circles around us, winding up for the big crash and burn at bedtime.  It’s almost never a good scene trying to keep them gainfully occupied while we busy ourselves with post-work household chores.  Someone needs to unpack the lunch boxes, empty the dishwasher, feed the pets, walk the dog, and get dinner going.  The list is endless.  And it feels endless thanks to all of the interruptions.  I usually work and  yap instructions simultaneously, “No, you can’t run in the house with scissors,” or, “Bassem, give Austin back his Woofy,” or, “Please don’t kick the dog,” and my favorite, “It’s not OK to (fill in the blank).”  I often wonder why I left the comfort and peace of the office!

All I know is that our kids find it comical that they can frustrate the heck out of us.  As soon as they pick up on the fact that they pushed a button, it becomes a full force, tag team effort to execute the misdemeanor again, and again, and again.  It’s not long before the look is exchanged, followed by the other parent stepping in to take over.  A good example of this often involves “constructive” play in the kitchen while I’m making dinner.  The boys sit at their toddler table working on a craft while I cook and Larry monitors.  One child irritates the other, squabbling and wailing ensue, and Larry steps in to level the playing field.  The squabbling begins again.  Children and toys are redirected.  Tensions rise.  A full-on temper tantrum brings down the house.  I get the look, and Larry retreats to the living room.  One or more twins is marched to time out.  Now we're all irritated- the boys with each other, and us with the strain of trying to manage our toddlers.

This scene would wear anyone down over time…..  which is why it's so important to get away!  Regular time spent as a couple, under the guise of how things “used to be,” is the only remedy.  I really dig date nights.  Pre-kids, when friends mentioned that they were going on a date night, I remember thinking, “That is so corny- who does that??”  I didn’t realize how impossible it is to have “normal” conversations or interactions amongst the chaos of small children.  If you are not 100% focused on their needs or channeling their energy in a positive manner at all times, boy, are you in for a shocker.  Or, as Austin would say, “Ohhhh, maaannnn!”

So these days, I just about LIVE for date nights.  I know there will come a point in our marriage where they are not important to have on the calendar.  Our kids will be off with their friends for over-nights, parties, sporting events, and what not.  They won’t be interested in sitting on our laps or competing for our attention anymore.  They’ll be living their own lives.  They won’t spend as much time trying to one-up each other, or burst our ear drums with their wailing and screeching (at least I hope not).  I know this time of peace will come...when we start to feel more like empty-nesters, and “boring” adults who watch the nightly news, drink expensive wine, and lounge on the couch.  But man, am I looking forward to being “so un-cool!”

But in the meantime, I’ll try to take those “looks” in stride, and send as few of them as I can manage.  Some days are easier than others; we all have our good days and not-so-good days.  Parenting is all about managing your mood, slapping on a good attitude, rolling with the punches, and backing-up your spouse.  It’s a team effort, through and through.  And I sure am fortunate to have a good shipmate- one who’s got my back, and his own arsenal of creative ploys to get our boys behaving like saints!  I’m one lucky gal.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Water Closet Essentials

In a rare stroke of luck one rainy Sunday afternoon, the boys took an extra long nap, and we got to enjoy a few episodes of HGTV.  One of the shows featured three couples who had spent $50K renovating their master bathrooms.  As anticipated, the upgrades were not of the do-it-yourself variety.  Some of the design choices were off-the-wall, but one couple in particular really pushed the envelope.   Their toilet was a close second to Yoda and his Jedi mind tricks.  It featured a wireless mount control, warm air dryer, catalytic air deodorizer, heated seat, oscillating spray massage, front and back aerated warm water spray, and auto flush.  Oh, and let’s not forget the five start efficiency rating, at just 1.2 gallons per flush.  And to top it off, this couple’s “water closet” also featured a wall mount cordless phone, a Kindle, wireless internet, and a coffee maker.  It’s safe to say the better part of their weekend was likely spent near or on the commode.

So I’m sure you’re wondering what this couple’s crazy toilet has to do with parenting.  Well, two things, actually.  First, this was the first time in 2.5 years that I’ve actually seen an episode of HGTV, uninterrupted, from start to finish.  Quite obviously an enormous milestone!  Second, a good water closet is an absolute necessity for any family parenting small children.  I’m seriously contemplating this $3,200 commode, even though I normally speed through nature calls before someone lights the curtains on fire.   And I’m not joking.

So why have a $3K commode for occasional use?  Well, because I use our bathroom as a hide-out.  I like to think of it as “adult time-out.”  In fact, this is actually what I tell the kids.  When they start acting up, and I’m on my last shred of sanity, I say, “Mommy is going to time-out.”  At which point I lock the bathroom door, grab a seat, and try to ignore the banging and commotion on the other side of the door.  I’ve even evolved the routine to include white noise (the bathroom fan), ear plugs (to drown-out the wailing), a seat cushion (rolled-up bathroom rug) and reading material (Runner’s World is great).  Self-initiated time-outs provide approximately 5 minutes of relative peace.   After this time, it becomes clear that toilets were not designed for long term lounging, and I must collect myself and return to reality.  Now, a $3K commode would certainly take my time-outs to a whole new level, don’t you think?

Aside from the funny toilet, this HGTV episode reminded me of a time in my life that I sometimes have trouble remembering.  Pre-twins, we could indulge in “the finer things” (not a $50K bathroom, mind you, but something on our wish-list).  You can indulge when you don’t have responsibility for anyone but yourselves.  I honestly can’t remember the last time (as a parent) I lounged shamelessly on the couch, bought something silly or frivolous- just because, or even slept-in on a Saturday morning!  Listening to this couple talk about their bathroom renovation, it was clear they had never been faced with the need to compromise, negotiate, haggle, compete, or otherwise place someone else’s needs above their own.  It was a crazy step back in time- to how things used to be- once upon a time, long, long ago…

But, the funny thing is, when I’m sitting on the other side of the bathroom door, I’m already missing my kids.  I know I need to center myself, so that I can manage the chaos, but my heart aches from the separation and I can’t help but crack a smile when the door is rattling and the kids are wailing, “Mommy come out to play!!!!”  So would a fancy toilet and decked-out water closet keep me in the bathroom for more than 5 minutes?  Probably not….but you can bet that I will be revisiting my bathroom décor as soon as the kids go off to college. J